You now how it is; you're a celebrity, you're in London, you're avoiding the paparazzi and are bored of routine drug abuse, having your PA arrange the gratification of bizarre personal foibales and having to speak to Justin Lee Collins' beard when it confronts you in China White's and says something in Bristolish. What better way than to take a night off and babysit for an teacher and a bank officer in the fringe areas?
You're quite right. There is no better way*.
Appearing imminently (or less imminently depending on if building a level 90 panda distracts me or not) will be an application form but, for the time being, here are the rules.
RULES FOR CELEBRITY BABYSITTER
1. You must apply using the official form;
2. We must agree with you that you are a celebrity. Please check your relative fame levels as rejection often offends;
3. You must provide a review of your baby sitting activities (we get editorial approval but won't add bits in without running it by you for consent), complete with photographic evidence which will be posted to this blog. If you babysit and then don't review your experience;
4. You, or your agent / PR company, can make suggestions of what we are going to be doing whilst you are babysitting. You can even pay for us to do it if you wish. We will take these suggestions under advisement. Honestly, we can just pop to the pub along the road for two hours and have a pint whilst you see if we have any of your CDs or if you're in any of the films on the DVD racks.
5. Minimum duration of sitting is two hours.
POST UNFINISHED. TO BE DONE WHEN I GET A CHANCE.
*not even developing a further foibale